Considering whether or not he’s the one? Or are you past that and see engagement on the horizon? Either way, you’d be wise to take a step back to evaluate your partner and your dynamic to determine if you two have what it takes to live happily together in the long run. Check out our favorite advice on what you need to know before getting engaged, including wisdom garnered over the years by some of our favorite relationship experts.
Do you bring out the best in each other?
This is the “first and foremost” thing to ask yourself: “Do you bring the best out in each other easily and effortlessly?”
Do you like who you are with your partner? Do you like the person you bring out in your partner? You and your partner should inspire each other to be your best and support each other’s endeavors and goals, personally and professionally.
Do you get along with each other’s friends and family?
“Do your friends and family like him - and vice versa? The people who care about you the most will give you their honest opinion. You may not think that getting along with your in-laws is a huge deal, but they will be a part of your life—‘til death do you part!”
Do you fight fair?
“It's important to know how to fight. No cheap punches, no kitchen sinks, no bringing up things that happened three years ago. Make sure both of you are able to have a disagreement in a respectful way, while having both of your voices heard.”
Do you want to change your partner?
“What you see is what you get. Don't think you'll change your partner once you're married. If he does things that make you want to pull your hair out it's time to ask, ‘Can I live with him exactly as he is for the rest of my life?’ If not, it's time to move on.”
Is your partner trustworthy?
“Find out if he's trustworthy; actions speak louder than words. If he makes more promises than he is able to follow through with, consider it a red flag.”
Have you talked about money?
“Have you both talked about money in detail? Will you jointly handle the finances and be open about it?”
You need to know how your finances will be handled. Who will pay the bills or how will they be divided? Will you have joint checking accounts? Don’t forget to discuss debts you both may have—student loans, credit card debt, or car payments.
If you or your partner is bringing any large assets into the marriage—inheritance, trust funds, property—this would be the time to discuss whether you will keep the funds as “mine” or if they become “ours.” Get it all out on the table before you tie the knot and make sure that you feel comfortable living with whatever compromise the two of you make.
So before actually getting engaged, forget your expectations for the actual wedding proposal. Simply enjoy your proposal and engagement for the unique, special event it is for you and your partner. You can consult way to propose to the expert for another option.
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